Hey, everyone.
Welcome back to Friends with Fertility.
Today, we have Danny Sheriff.
Welcome.
Thank you.
I'm excited to be here.
Appreciate it.
She is a go to expert for women whose periods have vanished, and no one can tell them why.
After battling a hypothalthamic Anna Maria, Anna, and Amen.
Aria.
Amen.
Herself, she reclaimed her cycle, got pregnant naturally and turned her pain into purpose.
Together with her team of specialized coaches at the society, Danny has guided thousands of women through her restore program and coach certification pathway, and her story has been featured on fertility Friday and leading wellness shows.
So I am so excited to talk about this because I I also teach about this in our, um, coaching certification.
It's not something that people talk about very often.
And um, are not even aware that there is a name to it.
Right? As you can tell, I struggle with the name every single time no matter what that I talk about this.
Um, so tell us what led you to this path, what your story is.
Yeah.
So like many people these days, you know, I had the problem that I help now.
People solve.
So I was a a amateur athlete for a long time.
Um, and so I say that because people think that missing periods is specific to elite level athletes Mhmm.
To gymnasts and, and, you know, sometimes gymnasts lose their periods or women who, like, swim is who swim five, three days.
Yeah.
But that's not true.
Um, it can happen to, you know, anyone who is really an avid exerciser.
Um, but there seems to be a very strong connection with, uh, high control with food as well.
So people who are in weight class sports or sports where, you know, quote, I wanna look the way that someone who does my sport should look.
So this happens in runners, Olympic weight lifters, which was my sport, body builders, Anyone to the crossfitters that have attempted over the years.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
There's like a bit of a competitive, um, theme to it for a lot of people.
But, yeah, generally speaking, we're exercising a lot, but we're also under eating.
And this is just really common for women in general.
And so that happened to me.
I lost my period for about seven years.
And when you lost it initially, were you like, oh, no big deal.
Or Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
This is great.
Like, because now I don't have a period, or was it even on your radar? Like, this is something is different.
It was on my radar, but not only did I think, oh, like, that's convenient, but I was proud of it, which I think is interesting.
Right? I was proud of it.
It means I'm working out hard enough.
And it didn't I didn't actually realize at the time that there was long term negative consequences to not producing any estrogen or any hormones at all.
And I was becoming increasingly more neurotic, more particular, more anxiety, stress, and everything had to be in a specific way.
I could not miss a workout.
I could not eat outside of my regimented way of eating.
Um, and I was tracking macros, and I was I was eating very little fat, um, and I was eating lots of protein, lots of protein, but no fat, um, and moderate carbs meanwhile doing all these workouts and going for a walk every morning and weighing and measuring everything that I eat.
And my world You're like bringing back all kinds of memories, Danny, because that was my life for so long.
Yeah.
I've been away for it for a long time that I haven't thought about it, and it was so the things that I missed out on or didn't do because I couldn't eat properly if I went out or whatever.
It's just like such a mind game and Exactly.
Like, not to jump into your story, but it's it's actually triggering me right now because I'm like, oh my gosh, that's I'm there.
It was so intense.
For so many years.
You know, you may have not completely lost your menstrual cycle, but most likely you are on what we call the spectrum.
So this is a a lot of people too.
They might be like, I'm like that, but I get my period every month.
Okay.
Well, how's your luteal phase? How are your baseline temperatures? How you know, what are all of the parameters of your cycle looking like? And unless they're hunky dory, um, you're, you know, you're on the spectrum probably.
And so on that extreme side, you just completely lose the menstrual cycle.
Right? And this is really, really common.
And I had to go through it without a lot of support.
I couldn't find much on the internet.
It took me a while to really understand that this is me.
There wasn't support communities.
There wasn't a lot of podcasts.
And then I got to the end of the process, which was simple, but difficult, very difficult.
And I thought, um, wow, that was really hard.
I think that there's a gap in a market that needs feeling and that there's a community that needs serving.
And so that's how I really got into it.
Huge community that needs serving because the irony is that you think that you're super healthy.
Right? And most Yes.
I won't say all, but most of the people that are in those circles are not actively trying to get pregnant at that moment.
Right? They're like, they're trying to hit a a weight loss goal or they're trying to hit a personal record goal in those situations.
So it's not top of mind for fertility per se.
But yet as you even if, like you've mentioned, even if you're not your period hasn't stopped, so many other things are, like, disjointed and out of out of sync is where they should be.
And I feel really strongly with, uh, in The United States, we have division one sports in college even, um, and then those athletes usually go on to professional etcetera.
And then they're not even spoken about by their coaches of like, oh, you're on your period this week.
Maybe you should sit out or you should work out less or do whatever.
You know, it's like push hard all the time through the whole month no matter what.
And we have to start recognizing that it's not healthy to do that on so many levels, mentally physically, fertility wise, etcetera.
So I'm so glad we're having this conversation because it's really something that I'm super passionate about, but there's really very narrow windows to have these conversations because in the bottom line, people don't wanna hear it because they want their athletes to win.
They want their athletes to be where they want to be.
And even if, like you say, you're an amateur athlete, you still want you're still striving for your your best.
Like, the amount of things I had downloaded on my phone that I was tracking myself, even though I wasn't.
An elite athlete, but I wouldn't miss a workout and I wouldn't eat outside of what I was supposed to eat.
So the amateur athletes are almost almost appear to be more susceptible to and look, maybe it's because there's just more amateur athletes than professional athletes, you know, but there is some I think because they're doing it without any guidance, and they're you know, it's a certain personality of woman that can push herself.
And can push herself without anyone else having expectations on them or, um, but what's interesting about that is when you start to peel back the layers and you go, okay.
I have a problem.
Regardless of your goal.
I don't care if you're trying to get pregnant or if you just realize that you're on the fast track to osteoporosis or something like that.
Whatever is you're motivating factor.
I was just thinking though about all the nutritionists and personal trainers and everybody that I worked with throughout all those years.
Nobody ever asked me about my cycle and what was happening there.
And to your point, like, even if you are guided by celebrity trainers or celebrity nutritionists or whatever, Nobody's asking you about your cycle and what's happening with you.
They're just, again, counting the macros.
What's your protein like? What's your, etcetera? And I think what I tell people who are actively trying to get pregnant, and, you know, obviously, you're a step further than that.
They have to have a cycle before they're getting that to that place.
But in regards to the workout is if you're bought if you're working out so hard because you're thinking that you're doing yourself a service and your muscles are repairing itself every day because you're working out every morning or night or whatever it is.
Your body is working overtime to repair itself every single day.
That's taking energy away from your reproductive system of where we really want your body to be.
Yes.
I'm not you know, we still need to work out and whatever.
But during that critical time, you want to change your workout.
You wanna, you know, adjust to your body really serving its purpose during that time.
So let's back up again to somebody who doesn't have their period, hasn't had their period for a while, whether it's from working out or not, where do they start to figure out how do I get this back on track? How do I how do I make this appear again? Well, that's what's nice about this is it's not a syndrome or a disease or a dysfunction, unnecessarily.
Um, it's actually a process of the body that makes a lot of sense, right, everything you just explained.
There's a lot going on in the body, and you don't have enough fuel and rest.
To to function all of those things.
So it's as simple as reversing out of that and making sure you do have enough fuel and rest.
Um, so it sounds simple, but is really hard for our population.
Because your number one goal has been to strive to succeed at, you know, athletics and looking a certain way and also values eating in a, quote, healthy way.
So we don't necessarily say, like, You now just need to become this unhealthy couch potato, but there's certainly an aspect where you may need to sit down and rest for a bit Yeah.
And step really hard for people who are used to having a certain type of workout.
So I'm not saying that that's not easy because that's a mental game itself, but I always tell people it's a short a mere a short period of time.
Right? Let's just get through this time where you're trying to have a baby and keep that baby, meaning we want that to be a live birth.
Um, and know that you're that is the goal right now.
Right? It's like you're just changing your you're shifting your your end goal during this period of time.
You can get back to working out and watching your food like a maniac if you want to.
But right now, your situation is gonna be different.
That is the homework, and that seems really passive for people who are so used to being the other way.
Yeah.
Being just super, go, go, go, and really, um, re even realizing it and seeing it for what it is is particularly difficult.
Like, people have a hard time self reflecting and thinking, like, admitting to themselves that they're overdoing it.
Right.
Yeah.
And so they'll back off a little bit, um, might maybe I'll run a little bit less.
You know, maybe I'll eat a little bit more, which is to some people called quasi recovery, or we call playing to how low can I go game, meaning how can I make changes towards recovery, but make the smallest possible changes, and hopefully elicit the maximum response, which just never really works? And so there's a whole like, re rediscovery and reflection process of really relearning what is what is too much.
And what is this interesting skewed perspective you have of, like, what a woman should be doing? And people tend to realize, uh, which is a strange realization for a lot of us that everything you've been doing is actually in direct conflict with your goals.
You've been trying to get more healthy And in that process, you've made yourself less healthy.
You've been trying to have a baby, but you're doing behaviors, like, trying to train for a triathlon, you know, that's just, like, in conflict with the goal you're at right now.
And I think what has happened is women are led to believe and look, maybe this is men too, but women are led to believe that we should be all things all the time for everyone, right, high achieving successful career, fit, beautiful, perfect, perfect mother, mother, perfect daughter, perfect spouse, and beautiful home, and all the things all at once.
And we're not really used to being told, like, there's seasons, and it's okay to rest, and it's okay to achieve less.
And this is one of the first times in a lot of people's life where their body's giving them a really loud signal, that says, you know, you cannot do everything at once.
You cannot be at the top of your athletic game and have maximal fertility all the time.
Like, we just it it's not easy to do all those things.
And I think they'll they'll find that one person online that's like nine nine months pregnant who's like lifting heavy weight or doing whatever, and they'll be like, well, it's She continued to do it, so it's okay.
And there I just say this all the time.
You can't self diagnose based on somebody else's situation.
And it's the same here.
If your body is signaling to you that something is off, You gotta listen to that.
Mhmm.
Regardless of what Susie Hughes is doing online or down the street or whatever.
Like, clearly that's not working for you.
And so you need to self evaluate your situation.
And I would even say too, Why do you feel the need for that? Like, that's the deeper work is where where is a stemming from? Where in your childhood or whatever did something come up where you felt that you had to be such an overachiever or or count every calorie or you know, do all those things because that's really the bigger issue that needs to be addressed.
And the secondary part is is working through, okay, how what does that look like on a day to day basis in order to get pregnant.
Yeah.
Um, for people that are not heavy work worker outers, what's the what's the right word for that, but still don't have a period.
What do you suggest for them if they're like, well, my excuse I don't work out every day.
I go for a walk or whatever, but I don't have my period and I haven't had it for a long time.
What what do you suggest for them? Because there seemingly isn't those easier things to reverse as far as, like, slowing down and or eating more.
Well, I will share it's actually really rare, um, to come across someone who's, like, basically doing no exercise but has amenorrhea.
And there have been research studies that have concluded that some combination of under eating over exercising and stress like, two of the three have to always be there.
And we less commonly come across someone who stressed their period away.
So what that would probably be is a lot of under eating.
And it could look like, um, intermittent fasting.
So maybe you don't do a whole lot of exercise, maybe do a lot of walking, um, because walking can definitely, you can overdo walking.
And if you're getting up, like, 5AM, getting multimile walk in, and then coming home and just having coffee or not, you know, not eating until lunch, like, that's something to look at.
So meal timing, are you eating right away in the morning? Is it a full breakfast? Are you having all of the macronutrients, are you really feeding yourself, um, to lose your cycle without having exercise in the picture is probably a massive under eating issue.
And maybe you'd you eat a lot of calories in the day, but maybe you undulate those calories, or maybe you really just eat.
Maybe you say I don't do a lot of exercise, so I'm only gonna eat 1,200 calories.
Well, then that's probably not enough, even just for you to be like awake during the day.
Right? So I would look straight to food if exercise isn't a factor.
And I think everybody, again, is different.
So you wanna look at yourself of 1,200 calories may be enough for me, but not for you.
And so We we go by these government regulated diet suggestions, but that's not necessarily what's good for everybody.
So, um, same thing with fruits and vegetables and different types of meat and proteins and we're you you need to figure out what works for your body in order to functionally function optimally.
And it's not a one size fits all thing, and you can get your nutrients and all the things in different ways.
So for example, I don't eat fish because I have sensitivity to it, but most people would be like, oh, that's the perfect lean thing to eat to get protein.
That's not for me.
And if I was trying to get pregnant, I cannot do that or eggs because it's super inflammatory for me.
And I it just doesn't it doesn't go well for my body.
So I just wanna emphasize figuring out what's right for you with all the factors in play for trying to get pregnant.
Right? We wanna keep the inflammation down.
We wanna make sure that you are regulating the amount that you exercise because it is important to move your body.
Um, and so how do you suggest for people who are trying to find that balance? What What is that kind of baseline of starting point? So they're not doing too much and they're not doing too little, knowing that that there's a spectrum, right, that people need to know that it's not one size fits all.
What does that look like? Yeah.
It it can be a journey to find when it's been a long time of being super far in one direction.
Um, so we use the fertility awareness method as a tool, as a diagnostic tool.
So even if you don't have a period, when you begin trying to get it back, charting can be really helpful.
Because to your point, you can't look at someone else exactly what they're doing and just copy it, uh, could work, but will not work for absolutely everyone.
And, you know, they might you might hear the number of 2,500 calories gets your period back, but it's not true for everyone.
So when we use the charting, we can identify someone's baseline temperatures.
For example, the first thing we do, and I'm sure many of your listeners do cycle charting.
So If your baseline temperatures are too low, I already, like, I already know you're not eating enough, you know.
And so the answer there is eat more.
And it doesn't if you have sensitivities, fine.
Eat the things you can eat, we should be able to see that rise.
And then obviously naturally you'll start approaching ovulation.
So are you seeing cervical mucus? Yes or no? If no, you're not eating enough.
Right? So I don't care what Sally Lou next to you is eating to get her cycle.
If your hormones are still low, if your baselines are low, if you're not producing cervical mucus, then you're not eating up.
Your body is saying this to you.
Right? Charding is like body literacy.
Your body is giving you data to back up that you're not eating.
You don't have to guess.
You don't have to wonder it's objectively right in front of you.
And we see this when women start eating it more and eating enough, the baseline temperatures go up.
The cervical mucus starts to appear, and they get to start making these connections.
Oh, wow.
That really happened.
When I upped my calories by 300 by 400, My body responded within days, and now this has happened.
It's like you can't ignore that.
So you get to trial an error with yourself and get this feedback in real time.
Which I find very valuable in some of my clients because trying it takes a while to just get the period.
Right? And and if you're just like eating more and hoping to wake up one day with a period, that's just a little bit harder to reflect on.
And glean, like, where where am I at? What's working? What's moving the needle? What direction should I keep going down? So I I like charting for women without cycles.
Just see, are are you in the healthy parameters? Is your is your temperature 97.
4 and above.
If it's low, you need more food, you need more rest, you need whatever, um, and use that as your guide versus, like, what other people are doing or What's the average time that it usually takes people, like, how many cycle or, I guess, if they're not having a cycle, how many months does it normally take for people to see some well, see a period come back.
Yeah.
Two to three.
Um, three months being our average.
Yeah.
Somewhere in that two to four range.
And it just really depends like, um, how low your hormones got.
Cause some people still have you know, follicles on their ovaries.
And and so once you start eating enough that process of of maturation can kind of kick off really quickly, where some people have had for a long time, and there's nothing on their on their ovaries, and they've even shrunk a little bit.
And so that, um, that proliferation process has to start again, and that can take a little longer.
So but but at the end of the day, like, no matter where you're at, we've seen people with for twenty years recovering six weeks.
So everyone's body is a little bit different like that as well.
And some people are seeing cervical mucus all throughout their amenorrhea, and some people are seeing none.
Um, so I mean, we've seen it in one month.
Like, the body's always trying to ovulate, which is cool.
And I the one thing I love about charting as well.
So let's say somebody does get it back in a month and then they're but they're still not having the cycle with the luteal phase and the length of what those are, those are also really important to pay attention to because you want your egg health to be good.
Right? So It's not enough to just blade.
You need Right.
You need to ovulate.
And it needs one.
We want the egg to be healthy.
We want you to have a live pregnancy.
So getting pregnant and miscarrying, we don't want that to happen.
And so tracking your cycle and getting that data really helps you to know Okay.
This this should be at a healthy stage based on the time.
And again, if it's different, you don't have to have a twenty eight day cycle.
But somewhere around that that window, is going to be where you wanna do where you wanna be and see, like Danny's saying that cervical mucus and the temperature changing and all of those things that will say, okay, I'll be late this month.
And then within the window, that these eggs should be right where they need to be.
Um, and I think most people just think, oh, I have a period.
We're good to go now, and that's not that's part of it, but certainly not all of it.
Uh, and that's really not spoken about very often is that that LH phase and and what that means and why it's so important.
So I just wanted to add that in, but I agree with you tracking is so so helpful.
On so many levels.
But, I mean, as we know, we can do whole podcast just on that.
But, um, that's great news, though, two to four months.
That's really promising for people to be able to see a difference.
Yeah.
This is a quick turnaround.
What advice do you suggest for somebody who's, you know, listening to this and thinking they don't necessarily wanna have kids in two months, but they know that somewhere down the line sooner rather than later they wanna start? Okay.
Specifically for having kids, um, and you don't have a menstrual cycle, you're gonna wanna get on it ASAP, um, because, you know, it takes the average couple three three months, three cycles to try.
You don't even have one So do the math, right, you gotta get on top of this ASAP.
And unfortunately, you know, it's difficult for people to take action when they don't have that tangible goal that actually gives you a lot of external validation, like getting pregnant and having a baby.
And so when you're having to do this just for yourself, it's easy to ignore.
So honestly, if you're at ground ground zero, I think you need to just begin the research process.
People need to I because I've just seen this so many times.
I can't convince someone to recover off of them hearing about it for the first time.
They always have to go through the deep dive research process So go out there and learn about and learn about the consequences and learn about the process of recovering it, um, of your cycle and reflect on your lifestyle behaviors and how you are likely exercising too much or under eating or both and just start coming to terms with it is step one, because this is a process that has a a grieve, a grieving, an acceptance and anger, um, all of those different phases happen.
And I think you just need to kind of start learning about it and thinking about how this, like, why this is showing up for you, what are your behaviors? And then typically, you'll go, you know, either you'll figure it out for yourself, or you'll find the practitioner for you, like us or the community for you, or, you know, the podcast for you, and it will usually help you on the way.
A beautiful, beautiful thing is, straightforward.
So this is not like many other fertility journeys.
This is generally not something that should, um, take up a huge deal of your life.
If you can just get it done.
You can get back to your exercise and your sport, and you can get back to all that.
You just kinda need to stop drop and roll.
Get it done, and you'll be fine.
And I think keeping your eye on the prize again, like, what is the goal? What do I need to do? Do I want this more than that? Right? Do I wanna build my family more than I wanna be able to lift, curl 35 pound dumbbells, you know what I mean, or whatever it is, like, and putting it into that perspective.
And also know that it's probably not gonna be easy as far as, like, you probably will feel a little bit weird.
Once you do get pregnant, you start gaining weight and whatever, but that will change too.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for being here, Danny.
Where can people find you and work with you? Yeah, guys.
Because come learn at the hypothalamic amenorrhea podcast.
Have a go at typing it into Google.
You'll find your way there, um, and wear the society on Instagram.
And it's just a great place to start like learning about it and hearing yourself in other people's stories, um, because I I get people to share a lot of their stories.
So if you're at all, like, I think this is me.
I don't know maybe.
That's a great place to go and just see if you can connect.
Amazing.
You're not alone in this.
There's a lot of other women that are going through it.
So thanks for being here and sharing your story and helping to educate us all on this situation.
Thank you
